I make the same new year’s resolution each year.
Nothing extraordinary or creative, mostly I want to loose weight. This comes hand in hand with the Davina fitness DVD having the dust blown of it (though I have no DVD player so I’m fucked this year) and a google search of carb free meals. As with all new years resolutions, it usually fails within a few weeks (For me it’s the next day when my mother cooks her New years day / Christmas replica feast and I inhale a roast dinner, a 12 pack of cheese and bacon rolls, a sharing pack of Doritos and 2 kilos of prawns wrapped in an assortment of pastry within the space of four hours).
Do I want to loose weight this year? Yes. But I reckon I’ve already failed as I feasted on a mid -morning snack of red velvet cake each day of Christmas with the thought, “it’s alright in the new year I’ll start the new years fitness plan”. It’s never happening.
So this year I’m putting my resolution to good use, towards something I really want, more than weight loss…
I want the happy new year! Or more I want to be content.
I know I’m not the only mother of small children, whose days seem to roll into one miserable tiring day after another, and the only way we can get through it is thinking, “one day they will be older, this will be easier, my life will start again, and we’ll be happier!”
After four years of waiting for them to get to that magical easy older age, I realise it’s not coming. With each age, something new and more difficult comes along, and I now realise the only way I’m going to be happy, or content, is if I change me.
PND has had a lot to do with my low mood since having my children. In fact, depression has always been there as I was younger, she just received new letters to her name, like a graduate, when we moved into motherhood.
But in 2017, I really want to beat her away. Or at least take her power away. I’m not really sure how I am going to do it, but I’m thinking one possibility is setting myself different tasks and obstacles to overcome each week/month. Like finally facing my fear of taking my youngest out of his routine (the amount of family parties and holidays I have missed out on because of this!) or just travelling or doing something I have always wanted to do but stopped myself because I thought the kids would stop me or it wasn’t something a ‘Mum should do’.
I haven’t really made a plan yet, but with the help of my gorgeous happiness planner (Oooooo I love a good piece of stationery) this #SelfishSunday that’s what I will be doing. The idea behind the planner is to help you become more self-aware and to live in the moment, rather than the past and future were my head regularly sits. I’m hoping that becoming more self-aware, means I can become more aware when PND decides she’d like to visit.
I love my planner (not only because it’s pretty as hell, and also includes a gold pen! Drool!) but because I find my life so much less hectic when I can write and plan it down. It even includes a daily exercise and food plan, so you never know I may unwittingly gain my 18 year old body back after all. (I can only dream)
I’ll keep you all updated with my progress as the year unfolds. I’m going to call it my happiness challenge. I’d love it if you could all join me along the way. Let me know in the comments some things you’d like to conquer on your 2017 happiness challenge.
And if you’d like to get your hands on this gorgeous planner too, a little bird told me that it has free deliver until 10th January!