#SelfishSunday

I’m flagging this week.

From my last blog you’ll probably notice that I’ve got a touch of the manger (mum anger) which means something else is brewing underneath. I think I’m just frustrated and worried, my little man’s still ill and has contracted an infection which is going to take over a month to get rid off. We’ve been stuck in for a few weeks now and I think we all have cabin fever.

So this #SelfishSunday we are getting out in the fresh air. Walking is one self care act I can actually manage as a family and it does always help all of us.

Getting out of your house can seem so simple on paper, but I know how tough it can actually be when you have kids. It’s not just the fact it can take 2 hours longer than you anticipated to get out the door because no one will put their friggin shoes on, or give you 2 minutes to wash your face. But for parents who suffer from anxiety and low mood it can be nearly impossible.

When I first got diagnosed with PND I could never leave my house. I had to be physically removed. My mind was working on slow motion so everything became harder than what it actually was. It was too difficult for me to get everything I needed to get out of the house together that I’d give up before we even left the door. And the level of anxiety I would feel about being out of my home, the possibility of my child screaming everywhere, or having to feed him, and the idea that other people may see me and realise I wasn’t cut out to be a mum give me huge panic attacks.

But I was thinking too big.

I was thinking going out had to be a huge event, when really going out in those early recovery days only really needed to be a 5-10 minute walk around the street with my tinies in their buggy. I’d leave the buggy out in the morning before my hubby left for work, so when the time was right I’d put both kids in and go straight out. No stress inducing prep needed, and a quick walk around the streets while the kids talked away to the birds or each other give me a space to calm my mind but also a sense of achievement that when built up, slowly gave me my confidence back.

So take it slow. Don’t push yourself into big outings that you’re not ready for yet. Start small and build up and I promise you, you will start to find the old you again.

#SelfishSunday

Gem xxxx

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